You know when you come home from work and smell like rubber and dirt? Yeah, not the most appealing smell. I know too that you think of this as an aphrodisiac and that with one whiff I will turn into your love slave. I hate to inform you of this, but you are mistaken my love.
Contrary to your belief that this makes you "manly" the smell is revolting. Not only does it make your clothes smell, but your skin and hair smell as well, which in turn stinks up the sheets on our bed. It's a mood killer. You wonder why I don't jump you the minute the juveniles are snoring?
Let me remind you of the early years, when you would jump into the shower before bed every night. You would snuggle close, smelling of soap. The mix of your smell and the laundry detergent on the sheets was sheer heaven. Intoxicated, I was putty in your hands.
I realize we are older, more comfortable and that the new has worn off. I know too that I could make an effort to be *ahem* smooth, but until the smell of your job is taken away from the bedroom, off the sheets and scrubbed from your skin, the *forest* will grow wild and free.
I hope you understand and my conditions have been made clear.
Your Sasquatch in Training, KD