Saturday, November 12, 2011

Booze, Barf, Banquets, Bubbles, Belching, Ballet and Boogie

Umm...So I still have not caught up on my reader. I am not ignoring you my dear bloggy friends I promise. I am reading TODAY! I promised myself. Oh and if there is like a SUPER IMPORTANT POST that I need to read from you please link it in the comments. I don't want to miss it.

Okay now that is all out of the way. Here is the Bullet Random Recap of the last week or so.
  • Booze: If you are drinking margaritas made by Caspian then gin and tonics made by the bartender that Caspian is tipping well, TWO is plenty. Oh and don't drink wine when you have finished the aforementioned drinks. Wine+Strong Booze=Puking in a public restroom. Yes I did. I don't have anything else to say about that.

  • Barf: Really really don't mix alcohol in case you didn't catch my drift before. It. Is. Bad.

  • Banquets: What is it about buffet-style banquets that make me eat like a freaking cow? I am basically at week one of my stretch marks to six pack after everything I ate. UGGG!

  • Bubbles: Muirne is taking two weeks of swim classes. We started Monday and have the weekend off then go back through Thursday of next week. She told me the class was too easy and she is bored, after the first day. Awesome. Bardolf however is thoroughly enjoying splashing the shit out of me during the pre-school open swim, so I guess 1 of of 3 enjoying themselves isn't too bad.

  • Belching: Lizzard burps. A lot. I have never heard a dog burp. Fart yes. Burp no, until Lizzard. WTF?
  • Ballet: Muirne had her very first ballet recital. She did AWESOME and because I want to show you the sickeningly pink perfection that she was here are pictures and video (the video is only a minute and a half long so you better watch it dammit):

  • Boogie: Bardolf was totally into the recital. There was Jazz, Tap, Lyrical and Ballet. The music moved him and I just couldn't resist sharing him getting his grove on:

So there's the recap. Regular posting will resume as soon as my reader is in the single digits again. If the cuteness was too much for you I promise to bitch and moan the next post for you M'kay?


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I am Now Publishing on

Social Publishing Network | AddsYou

Oh Tom! You smooth talker, You!

Caspian suggested I try and make some new friends. Get out and explore. Navigate my surroundings and familiarize myself with the new people and places. While excited for that journey, I was not ready to take on that task alone.

I met Tom in Sears, the electronics section to be exact. Though a typical place to run into men, Tom lured me in when normally I could not be distracted. The saleslady stood by as we familiarized ourselves with each other. I told him where I lived, where we shopped, where we wanted to go. He knew right where I was and where I needed to go in life.

I left and took Tom with me. What would Caspian say? How could I explain what I had done? None of that mattered. No longer would I feel lost in this new place. I had the perfect companion. How does that phrase go? It's easier to ask forgiveness then permission? Yes, I had to have Tom. Caspian would just have to understand that I could not resist and in a moment of weakness I succumbed to the smooth taking stranger.

Nutty Readers, I would like to introduce you to my new lover, Tom:

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I just can't see the bigger picture right now

So don't tell me it is all a part of a bigger plan. Whatever the "plan" is, it better start showing itself because as of right now I am really struggling to see where all this is going. Most of all my heart breaks for the hardest working, most honest, and loyal employee I know. Someone who rarely complains, even for a moment. HE deserves the BEST plan and if it doesn't fall into place soon, I am not sure he can take it and I know I can't bear to see his face like this again.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Hi Headache? We need to talk.

Me: Yo, I know you have made yourself comfortable and all, but it's time for you to go.

KD's Headache: Duuudde! It's only been three weeks. I still have lots of time!

Me: No see that is the issue. I totally understand that you have a purpose to serve, that you are one of my body's warning systems that something is not right, but I KNOW what the problem is now. You can go.

KD's Headache: Oh you THINK you know. Just because you had a cold and then some neckaches, followed by a trip to your in-laws in the land of cats doesn't mean you know why I am here.

Me: No see you are wrong. When I took the Ibuprofen and allergy/cold stuff you went away.

KD's Headache: No I was just sleeping. Even headaches need naps Dude.

Me: That is the stupidest crap I have ever heard. You aren't even alive!

KD's Headache: But I am alive to YOU.

Me: Only because I gave you life sucka. As soon as I have some coffee and drugs you are outta here!

KD's Headache: Nope I just will be napping. I like to mess with you that way. I will be back full force as soon as your self-medication wears off!

Me: You are an evil evil troll. Just GO AWAY! I am tired of talking to you.

KD's Headache: You can never defeat me!

Yeah so obviously my brain is totally messed up right now. Seriously I cannot take this anymore. Any suggestions???

Friday, November 4, 2011

Dear John Letters to my Household Supplies

Dear Febreeze,

You have been replaced by Glade Fabric and Air. Glade smells better and the scent lasts longer. Plus it is cheaper. Those things make me happy. I am sorry that our relationship has ended so abruptly, but Yo, I gotsta have my house smellin' FRESH!


Fresh in the NW, KD

Dear Proactiv,

You promised clarity, perfect skin, NO MORE BREAKOUTS! However this letter is to inform you that you have been replaced. After continuously using your products and spending ridiculous amounts of money for six months I have found new hope. Get ready because you may be surprised, but GO FIGURE Ivory soap. Yep plain old Soap and water and my skin has never looked better. Don't worry, I have given my leftovers to a friend for whose skin you ACTUALLY work for. I know. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I like how Ivory smells better anyway.


Acne-Free it's Soap for Me, KD

Dear Downy Liquid Fabric Softener,

I used you religiously, loved the scent and softness you provided, but was discouraged by the invisible barrier you put on my towels so they no longer were absorbent. Frustrated I looked for alternatives. Much to my surprise, some plain old white vinegar int he rinse cycle with store brand dryer sheets gave me the same results without the side-effects. Thus ends our torrid affair.


Soft, fresh AND Absorbent towel owner, KD

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Things are changing, hopefully for the good

***Update*** Caspian called. Things are perfect!!! Thanks for the good thoughts. They were not wasted!

So I am writing this post to basically say that I am hoping to replace it with one that is super excited and optimistic later on. To make a long story short, we are doing our best to stay focused on the future and know that things with Caspian's promotion will all work out, but yesterday evening's events may have put a kink in things. Sorry for being so cryptic, but I try and keep things as anonymous as possible when it comes to Caspian's career. Nothing is for certain, so any good thoughts you could send our way would be appreciated. I promise to update as soon as I know anything more.