Tonight after repeatedly saying that there will not be any more throwing of the ball in the house, said ball comes flying by me as I check my e-mail and slams into my full glass of wine. The wine glass then ricochets into the computer monitor, breaks and spills all over the desk. Awesome.
Did I not just say to stop throwing the ball?
Earlier while I am cleaning up dinner I ask Caspian to run out to the 'burb' and see if the pictures from the visit to Santa are out there. Also could he please grab the flushable wipes in the console. I said this three times. Finally he gets his ass out the door and grabs the pictures, but doesn't get the wipes. Awesome.
Did I not ask for the wipes three times?
Muirne is finished coloring at the table with her new glitter markers that are not washable. She knows that they need to be picked up so Bardolf will not play with them. I remind her to pick them up, then put on her jammies. Again, pick them up and put on your jammies. hello? Is this mic on? Bardolf grabs one and makes a mess of my tablecloth. Murine doesn't have jammies on. Awesome.
Did I not say to pick up the markers and put on jammies?
Bardof drags out his bin of cars. After doing a thorough job of coating the entire livingroom room with his little motor vehicles, he moves on to another more pressing matter of ignoring me. I start to pick up and remind him to help. I step on a car while asking again for help picking up his cars and mutter something to the effect of damn little shits. Bardolf repeats it. Awesome.
Did I not ask him to pick up the cars?
I'm not sure if I am only thinking these things or actually speaking them outloud anymore. Seems to me that I am obviously only thinking them, because my devoted, observant, caring and loving husband would hear me and help me out. Because my perfect, obedient, sweet and respectful children would do as they were asked. Awesome!
Did I not just get ignored? That must be in my head, 'cause that would not be Awesome.