CRAP: My Go-To Word

So I say CRAP a lot. Like it is my go-to word for all the other words I really want to say but refrain from because I have an almost 6 year old who asks me things like:

"Mommy is Shit a bad word?"

RIGHT after I say it. Then of course there is Bardolf who is two and a half and just over the last 4-6 months really found his voice which of course makes him a human tape recorder that replays at the most inappropriate times.

Case in point:

While visiting with my 81 (really 82 but that is a whole 'nother story) year old grandma, who has not smoke, drank or cursed a day in her life, Bardolf proceeds to spout off the latest thing he learned from me--err Caspian, yeah from Caspian we'll go with that story--and after dropping a toy says, "God Damn it!!" He says this in front of her and Muirne doesn't skip a beat following it up with, "Brother that is a bad word, say CRAP".

Wow...Mother of the year award right here.

Now I know that crap may not be a horrible word, but really a swear is a swear, a curse is a curse right? In my defense my mom (Grammie) does not cuss. At all. But she does say Crap, like a lot, so that is where I get it from. Does that make it right or okay, no, but at least I can blame her for some of it.

I am just glad I cleaned up the sailor mouth before I had kids....kinda...at least I say shut the DUCK up instead of the alternative. Hey baby steps, ya know?

Please tell me I am not alone in my CRAPTASTIC linguistics and you all turn to some sort of go-to word. I am feeling a bit CRAPPY about not using more creative vocabulary.

Proof that there needs to be a "Big Head" section

So for his size Bardolf kinda has a big head. This is something I have mentioned before, but seriously this kid's noggin is just a bit ahead of the rest of his body. For instance he is barely in a size 2T at nearly 3 years old, but can wear a size 4T hat. Catch my drift?

Yesterday we went to good ole Target to get some new jammies for the cooler weather and also to look at costumes. Muirne is going to be Dorothy (I know SO CUTE), Lizzard is going to be a pumpkin (Hello $9.99 for a pet costume, I totally had to) and Bardolf saw this dino and fell in love:

See how cute and smiley the little boy is in that little outfit? I know, right? How could I resist. So we bought it in size 2-3T, brought it home and he BEGGED to try it on. So we did:

Yeah...forget about "Husky" sizes for toddlers. They need to make "Brainy" sizes. Just sayin'.

***UPDATE*** So we went back to Target and tried on the bigger size and OMG it didn't fit! So Bardolf is going to be a Mouse. He picked it out yo. IDK why. It IS like the cutest thing EVER though. Will post pictures when it is closer to Halloween of all three. Stay tuned!

Then I Was All Like 'TIME OUT FOR YOU SISTER!'

Disclaimer: This blog post may offend, disturb, and concern all of you that are good, loving, nurturing parents who actually know how to raise children with firm and loving or gentle and guiding parenting philosophies. I apparently have NO F-ING IDEA WHAT THE HELL I AM DOING and it will be painfully apparent. Just know that I never beat my children, I just drink after they go to bed and start over the next day. Oh, and no worries about having a responsible, sober adult. Caspian is sober (because he wants to take advantage of my drunk ass later) so the juveniles are always in at least one set of capable hands.

Muirne is just really pissing me off right now. I know a lot of it is her age. A lot of it is her hair (damn redheads) and a lot of it is her brother (little deviant is an instigator). Recently though she is becoming the kind of child that no one wants to be around because SHE LOST HER DAMN HEARING AND FORGOT HOW TO LISTEN TO ADULTS IN CHARGE OF HER!

She didn't really lose her hearing, but for shits sake if she doesn't start turning up her hearing aids (as I call it when she doesn't listen--figure of speech people) I am going to f-ing lose it. I can't go anywhere or do anything without CONSTANTLY repeating every single thing I have said to her at least five times.

Muirne, please get your hairbrush (TIMES FIVE)

Muirne, please feed Lizzard, she is hungry (TIMES FIVE THEN I DO IT)

Muirne, please pick up your toys (TIMES FIVE THEN I START PICKING UP MYSELF)

Muirne, please....(TIMES FIVE THOUSAND)!!!

Okay so I know I need to follow through and punish, but seriously she doesn't give a shit and honestly I am not sure what pisses me off more. The fact she doesn't listen in the first place or that she obviously has lost or never gained respect for my authority. The worst part is now it is all her relationships that are being affected. Anyone who tells her to do anything has to constantly repeat themselves. Grammie, Caspian, Ballet instructor, Bardolf, ANYONE!

Seriously I am at a loss. I really don't know what to do, but if things don't change I am afraid that she and I are going to have a REALLY CRAPTASTIC next 12+ years.

Thankful Thursday: Fortunate with Family

This past week I have been reminded over and over how fortunate I am to have such wonderful family. Sometimes I need to remember to not take the love I am surrounded by for granted, so I wanted to focus on my family for today's Thankful Thursday.

I am so Grateful and Thankful for:

• My Grandma "GG" who though in her 80's still manages to make time to watch my kids for me anytime I need her to. Who never forgets to tell me she loves me and means every word she says.


• My In-laws, who truly are some of the best people on Earth. Their compassion, love, humor and devotion to those around them is contagious. I am so lucky to have married into their beautiful family.


• My Dad who always takes my phone calls, even if it isn't the best time to talk. Who has always been not only a loving and supportive father, but a loving and supportive friend.


• My parent's spouses. Both my parents are celebrating their first anniversaries this year to new spouses. I am not sure how it happened, but I absolutely love and adore the people that they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with.


• My Mom, who is my best friend. We were not always close , especially through my teenage years, but she always loved me and showed it. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful example of a mother to follow.


• My Brother, who will drop everything if I need him. Our relationship is taking on new phases in our adult life and I can't wait to see how we grow as friends.


• My Husband, Caspian. I could go on and on, but after nearly 7 years of marriage, two kids, a mental dog, job changes, and life challenges, there is no other person I would want by my side.


• And last but of course not least, my gorgeous, precious, rambunctious, full of life children, who have taught me how to really love. Quick to hug, laugh, love, kiss, and LIVE in every moment of every day, just because they can.

So Nutty Readers, who are you thankful for and why?