Friday, November 4, 2011

Dear John Letters to my Household Supplies

Dear Febreeze,

You have been replaced by Glade Fabric and Air. Glade smells better and the scent lasts longer. Plus it is cheaper. Those things make me happy. I am sorry that our relationship has ended so abruptly, but Yo, I gotsta have my house smellin' FRESH!


Fresh in the NW, KD

Dear Proactiv,

You promised clarity, perfect skin, NO MORE BREAKOUTS! However this letter is to inform you that you have been replaced. After continuously using your products and spending ridiculous amounts of money for six months I have found new hope. Get ready because you may be surprised, but GO FIGURE Ivory soap. Yep plain old Soap and water and my skin has never looked better. Don't worry, I have given my leftovers to a friend for whose skin you ACTUALLY work for. I know. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I like how Ivory smells better anyway.


Acne-Free it's Soap for Me, KD

Dear Downy Liquid Fabric Softener,

I used you religiously, loved the scent and softness you provided, but was discouraged by the invisible barrier you put on my towels so they no longer were absorbent. Frustrated I looked for alternatives. Much to my surprise, some plain old white vinegar int he rinse cycle with store brand dryer sheets gave me the same results without the side-effects. Thus ends our torrid affair.


Soft, fresh AND Absorbent towel owner, KD

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