We have lived here going on four years. Over that time we have become acquainted enough with our neighbors to form some friendly bonds. We also have been around long enough to make some enemies (though they are unaware of that status...we hope). Amongst our Neighborly Friends are the following:
- The Hero and the Halftime Homemaker: They live directly across the street. He is a police officer/volunteer firefighter and she is a part time stay at home mom. Their son is two weeks older then Bardolf and they have a daughter that is about 3 months old. Very nice people, but took some time to get to know.
- The Vietnam Warden and his War Bride: He is a Vietnam special ops veteran, who now oversees "Chain Gangs" for the state prison (75 years old and he could kick your ass). She is his wife who he met while at war. She totally yells at her dogs in Vietnamese and it is the. funniest. shit. ever.
- The Wrench Head and the Recluse: He works in the shop for a cab company. I didn't even realize she existed until about a year ago. 'Nuff said.
Now the neighbors behind us are another story. I can't even tell you how many times our Neighborly Friends and ourselves have had to call the cops on them. They are named as follows:
- The Hacker: This lady must smoke 10 packs a day while her dogs bark and crap all over the yard ALL THE TIME DAY AND NIGHT. I am not exaggerating people. Though I haven't heard her in a while. Kinda wondering if she died.
- The Hillbillies: 2am is NOT a great time to play horseshoes. Seriously stop cooking the meth and sleep already. For real.
- The Frat Boys: Parties in your backyard Wednesday through Saturday nights until 4am with bonfires is not a good way to avoid the police at your house. Did I mention 15 foot tall BONFIRES??? Hello! Residential area asshats!
Now that the cooler weather has set in it has been quieter in Squirrelly-Ville, but being now that the dispatchers for the non-emergency police know me on a first-name basis, it doesn't take long to get some back-up should the need arise.
So Nutty Readers? Do you have nicknames for your neighbors, or am I alone in my nuttiness?