His Peenie is BIG like Dis!

The other day Bardolf walked in as I went to the bathroom (okay this could be any day of the week as I haven't gone to the bathroom alone since Muirne was born). He has a bit of a thoughtful look on his face and asked, "Mommy, how come you no hold your peenie when you go potty?"

I chuckled and said, "I don't have a peenie, brother, only boys have peenies and I am a girl."

He thought for a moment, smiled and said, "I a boy an' daddy a boy! I have peenie! So does daddy!! His peenie is BIG like dis:"
Daddy must be so proud.



(I can't make this stuff up people. He kills me. I asked him to show me how big daddy's peenie was when I took this picture, because just describing it doesn't do the story justice.)

Thankful Thursday: Hesitant Happiness

Sometimes it isn't easy to be happy. There are just times when not only is it hard to feel optimistic, but to feel even just fine. That is when I find myself really struggling to be thankful. That is when I reach for the best feeling thought I can, because being in a constant state of happiness is not realistic, though definitely worth trying to achieve. So this Thankful Thursday I would like to leave you with a simple, single challenge.

No matter what the situation is, reach toward the best feeling emotion you can at the moment, whether it be from anger to irritation, intolerance to annoyance, dislike to tolerance, or like to love. Whatever the emotion you can reach that gives you even the smallest amount of relief at that moment, reach for it and watch as you find yourself moving towards that constant state of bliss.



Remember to link directly to your Thankful Thursday post on your blog and to link back here. Also feel free to take the Thankful Thursday picture to use! Thanks for joining in the gratitude!

When it rains it pours

Or at least that is what I felt like yesterday.

It rained last night. The first big drenching rain we have had since the beginning of Summer. The dust from the sidewalks was washed away. The air smelled fresh and clean. The flowers perked up and looked refreshed. The still silence only interrupted by birds singing their praises to the rain. Nature renewed itself and all was washed away and well.

I felt renewed as well. As if our energy was washed clean by the rain, we faced a new outlook on new possibilities and the hopes shone bright. Our time is coming. We have to continue on the path to greater things by keeping the faith that greater more beautiful and wonderful opportunities are coming our way. And they are.

I still can't see the bigger picture, but more pieces of the puzzle are being put together and I like how it is coming together.

I Need It To Be Friday, and Not For Normal Reasons...

First off my hair looks like that really bad grunge grow-out that was ever so popular with the celebrities a while back. You know the really dark roots and blonde everywhere else? Yeah that is my hair right now. I dyed it myself a few months back because I couldn't get in to my super awesome hair goddess because she was booked. Instead of just looking bad for a couple weeks I have been looking rough for a couple months. It takes a LOT of corrective coloring to fix a bad at home job. Just letting you know in case you didn't. Anyhoo I go in Friday to get it colored and I am really looking forward to finally being able to get it somewhat normal again.

The other BIG HUGE thing happening on Friday is more news about Caspian's promotion. For those who don't know we have been waiting for over three years for this promotion and because of setbacks that had nothing to to with Caspian, but instead things with his bosses, it has been very delayed. Well a few weeks ago he was finally put on the list for promotion, and can start applying for new positions. That is where Friday comes in.

Friday there is an announcement on who got the last promotion. Caspian won't get it, which is fine, because the guy who most likely will get it will leave his position open, which means Caspian can apply for it. THIS WOULD BE AWESOME-NESS. We wouldn't have to move, and it is a really great position for him.

I am so glad that we have a lot going on over the next few days. I need stuff to occupy my nutty thoughts and to keep me from obsessing about all these happenings.

I think I will steal some of Lizzard's Prozac and Rescue Remedy. I need it more then she does--Garbage day was yesterday.

Why Some People Shouldn't Be Left Alone

Yeah so, yeah. I am an idiot. I wax my own brows. I do them mostly because salon waxes make me break out in a rash. I found the product Nad's (I know weird name but good stuff) a while back and have been successfully waxing my brows with no issues....until now.

I WAXED OFF HALF MY LEFT EYEBROW PEOPLE!!

Gah! Seriously! I was getting in the shower and while I was waiting for it to warm up (my bathroom is on the other side of the house from the water heater so it takes DAYS) I decided to do a quick clean up. Well I am not sure what happened but when I pulled off the strip it seemed like I had a lot of hair on it. Yeah I did:

Umm, yeah. So I have like half a brow. This is my OTHER, GOOD brow:

Notice how it actually goes PAST the outside corner of my eye? WHERE IT IS SUPPOSED TO GO?!?

I should not be allowed to be alone. I swear. I did put on some make-up and filled in what I could, but drawing on my brows wasn't something I was planning on doing until I started dyeing my hair purple and terrorizing the neighborhood kids with my senility. Awesome. Here is the after picture once I put on make-up. Can you tell??

(If you can tell then just lie to me m'kay? I have to be seen in public FOR THE NEXT MONTH WHILE IT HOPEFULLY GROWS BACK, I am a hazard to myself.)

A Bit of Squirrelly-Randomness

We had a busy weekend so I am doing this random recap instead of an actual post with paragraphs. I apologize, but promise something squirrel-rific tomorrow.

• Whenever we watch Charlotte's Web I feel guilty for killing the spiders in my house...only for a minute...but I do feel guilty.
• Muirne's SIXTH birthday is November fourth. Yep election day. I will not be posting political things on that day, but instead a post about Muirne so if you find yourself in need of a reprieve from politics you know where to come.
• I am trying some of the suggestions on my post about nightmares. Thanks again to all who gave advice and I will let you know the progress.
• We have taken Lizzard off the Prozac. Trying to see if we can function without it. She can but I can't. I think maybe I need the medicinal intervention instead.
• We went to the pumpkin patch on a field trip with Muirne's school. It was hilarious and chaotic considering there were about 90 kindergartners plus parents and teachers. The poor farm owner seemed overwhelmed which only added to the entertainment factor.
• My kids let me sleep in on Saturday (which means I got up at 7:45 instead of 6:30). I didn't mean to sleep in, but I didn't hear them get up, then I felt like the worst mom ever because they tried to make their own breakfast so I could sleep. Bardolf was eating uncooked oatmeal out of the container. Though he seemed fine with it I promptly took it and offered him some actually cooked. Mother of the year, right here.
• Whole Grain Goldfish crackers taste different then the regular ones. Not really a bad different, just different. I thought I would let you know in case you were wondering.
• I can actually cook when I apply myself. I have made three new meals the last few days and in the process have totally screwed myself because now Caspian will expect real food. Shit.
• Lizzard LOVES pumpkin. Raw. Off the deck in our backyard. Weird and good because we didn't have to clean up the deck when we were finished carving.
• I like the gutting process of pumpkin carving. A lot. I wonder what that says about me...

So nutty readers, what random-ness can you share with me today?

My Ode to Mike Rowe

In the spirit of the "Secret Boyfriends" of Mrs. G and my promise to MommyPie with whom I share this particular Secret Boyfriend:

My Ode to Mike Rowe

When first I saw your handsome face
You were in quite a filthy place
Your brow was sweaty, you most like smelled of fish
Oyster hauling was your tryst

From that moment I was forever changed
Dirty Jobs was the Yin to my Yang
I feverishly searched while Caspian was away
For any time spot that your show might play

As I tuned in every episode your tasks grew greater
Your drive for grime and grit never to waver
I plugged my nose and shut one eye
But still the filth would not be denied

Through all the mess and all the muck
Your wit is which by I was struck
Never are you slow to toy
“I am a Dirty Boy”

So this ode my Secret Boyfriend I write
The only witness is the glow of the monitor light
Stay dirty my love and let the common man shine
As you ask us all to tune in next time.

I am the GREATEST!!!

Because I needed a reprieve from the SGRT already, I wanted to share this video. Talk about a positive attitude! I love this kid! I need to stay focused on the positive this trip and he is reminding me.

We Have a Very Important Announcement!

No I am not pregnant. The baby house was demoed last year remember?

ANYHOO

As of 5 nights ago...

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SQUIRRELLY-VILLE IS DIAPER FREE!!!

Yes my dear nutty readers, Bardolf is no longer in diapers. EVEN AT NIGHT! Excuse me while I do my Squirrel Who Found the Last Nut dance.

Works for me Wednesday: Cleaning Chart

For more WFMW tips go to Rocks in My Dryer.

My whole goal every day is that we end our day with a clean house, so that at the start of the next day there is no residual chaos to add to what will inevitably be total house destruction by Bardolf and Muirne.

To meet this goal I came up with a cleaning chart. Let me stress that these are my *goals* and they don't always get done but at least with this chart it gives me a plan to get the house clean by bedtime.

Feel free to print it out for yourself or whatever. It sure helps me keep track of what I have done and what needs to be done!

Reasons I Am Really a 55+ Empty Nester

• I LOVE Kenny Loggins. I even saw the Loggins and Messina reunion tour. It was awesome.
• I like to knit and crochet. I am not really great at either, but on Saturday night you can find me wrapped in a shawl in front of the TV with glasses on working on my mad skills with yarn.
• I say things like "Mad Skills" and "Fo' Sho'" and "Groovy" all in the same sentence thinking that I am being funny and cool, when n fact I just sound like a total nerd. I don't plan on stopping either, you're welcome.
• I also like to quilt, with my mom. My mom who actually IS a 55+ empty-nester and can get away with talking about it and going to shops/seminars without people laughing at her.
• I don't get carded. Ever. That kinda just pisses me off more then anything. I am TWENTY-EIGHT for shits sakes! Aren't you supposed to card anyone that looks under 35? Wait...SHIT!
• I talk about how "Kids" dress and act when referring to late teens/early twenty-somethings and their lives.
• I had a long chin hair...I know I am traumatized.
• And last but not least: I got mail addressed to me from the AARP. Yes I did.

*Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to offend, suggest, or demean you or anyone you know that also does these things. I just know most of my friends my age make fun of me for these things even though I know they are just jealous*

Hillbillies, Hackers and Frat Boys, OH MY!

I have nicknamed my neighbors. I am not necessarily proud of my judgemental names, but sometimes to save your sanity you have to get creative.

We have lived here going on four years. Over that time we have become acquainted enough with our neighbors to form some friendly bonds. We also have been around long enough to make some enemies (though they are unaware of that status...we hope). Amongst our Neighborly Friends are the following:

• The Hero and the Halftime Homemaker: They live directly across the street. He is a police officer/volunteer firefighter and she is a part time stay at home mom. Their son is two weeks older then Bardolf and they have a daughter that is about 3 months old. Very nice people, but took some time to get to know.
• The Vietnam Warden and his War Bride: He is a Vietnam special ops veteran, who now oversees "Chain Gangs" for the state prison (75 years old and he could kick your ass). She is his wife who he met while at war. She totally yells at her dogs in Vietnamese and it is the. funniest. shit. ever.
• The Wrench Head and the Recluse: He works in the shop for a cab company. I didn't even realize she existed until about a year ago. 'Nuff said.

Now the neighbors behind us are another story. I can't even tell you how many times our Neighborly Friends and ourselves have had to call the cops on them. They are named as follows:

• The Hacker: This lady must smoke 10 packs a day while her dogs bark and crap all over the yard ALL THE TIME DAY AND NIGHT. I am not exaggerating people. Though I haven't heard her in a while. Kinda wondering if she died.
• The Hillbillies: 2am is NOT a great time to play horseshoes. Seriously stop cooking the meth and sleep already. For real.
• The Frat Boys: Parties in your backyard Wednesday through Saturday nights until 4am with bonfires is not a good way to avoid the police at your house. Did I mention 15 foot tall BONFIRES??? Hello! Residential area asshats!

Now that the cooler weather has set in it has been quieter in Squirrelly-Ville, but being now that the dispatchers for the non-emergency police know me on a first-name basis, it doesn't take long to get some back-up should the need arise.

So Nutty Readers? Do you have nicknames for your neighbors, or am I alone in my nuttiness?

We Interrupt This Squirrelly Broadcast

To inform my Nutty Readers that I will be taking a hiatus.

To make a long story short between the start of school, ballet, Caspian's job, the reunion, and LIFE I am completely overextended and I need to refocus, recharge and realign. I am not sure how long the hiatus will last, but rest assured my visits to your blogs will continue as time allows. To be honest I am a WAY better commenter then poster anyway so my small doses of nuttiness will be much more enjoyable anyway!

Much love to you Nutty Readers! Thanks for your support and I will hopefully be able to resume posting before you all forget about us!

xoxo

KD

I'd ask you in for a drink but...

...if Caspian has his way we won't be in this house long enough for you to finish it!

The move was fairly uneventful, even though it was completely rushed. We ended up moving last Saturday with the help of my brother, dad, dad's wife and my mother in law. I am not one to sit with boxes around, so I had us unpacked and settled within the first few days. Of course with plans to buy this spring/summer we are leaving much in storage in the garage that we don't absolutely need anytime soon, so that helped the process. We also got Muirne settled in her new school, and we are glad that this will be her home only for kindergarten. More on that later.

So as I was saying, Caspian has already hired a real estate agent and we are meeting with a mortgage broker later this week. I would have liked to have more time to just take everything in before we started looking, but since Caspian is convinced we are renting in the ghetto, he is anxious to move. Not to mention the fact that he got a significant raise, so the influx in income is burning a hole in his pocket. Needless to say he is making me crazy.

I am so excited that we will be buying a home, getting settled, and putting down some roots. I am happy for Caspian that he really and truly loves his new position and is fortunate to have great people that work for him. I love that we are so close to Seattle and surrounded by water. However, I am still just trying to adjust to being more then three hours away from my family and all I have ever known. I just need a minute to breathe, pour myself (and a guest) a drink, and let the whole experience absorb.

Is that so much to ask?

Muirne at Ballet Camp

Just a few snapshots. She just could hardly hold still but at least you can see how cute she is in her bun and tutu!

Stuck and Stuttering

For less then a week now, Bardolf has been stuttering. It came on very suddenly and he now stutters at least half of his sentences. Most commonly it is the first word of a sentence, like what or where. However if you ask him to repeat the single word he stuttered without it being in a sentence he repeats it fine.

I know that this is a very common conditon in toddlers, especially males, but the sudden onset is what has us concerned. I stuttered (still do sometimes) but mine was very mild. My nephew did too, but also mild. Bardolf stuttering even has my mom (Grammie) who is an elementary school teacher concerned.

I plan on calling the doctor later today to see if Bardolf needs to be evaluated. Do any of you have experience with stuttering, or know where I can get more information? I needed a distraction from Caspian's promotion issues, but this was not the kind of distraction I was seeking....

Feeling Torn While Others Face the Storm

This was the week I wanted to kick off my weekly post on Mondays about being thankful or grateful for something in my life. I thought the focus to start the week with a great attitude and the gratitude for elements in our lives would be not only beneficial for me, but for my readers. However despite my best efforts, I am torn.

With hurricane Gustav approaching and so many in the path evacuating and fearing the worst, how can I complain about my silly woes, but even more so, how can I rejoice and have an attitude of thankfulness while others are in harms way? I feel so self absorbed, being grateful for what I have when others may come back to nothing.

Then it hits me. I can focus my energy and attention on all the bad and horrible things out there, or I can choose to be grateful and thankful and appreciative of not only what I have, but that those in the path are getting out, getting to a safe place, and are in need of me sending my positive thoughts their way, not my worries, woes, or guilt. THAT is what I need to show gratitude for today.

Today I am grateful that my family is safe.

That those in harms way are taking precautions to get safe.

They are preparing their homes, lives and each other for the worst, but holding the hope in their hearts for the best.

They are appreciative for the thoughts and prayers of those that can send them their way and are thankful for the kindness of others.

Stay safe. Stay hopeful. Be well. Be strong. Feel safe. Feel LOVE.

Did I *not* say something? Awesome.

Tonight after repeatedly saying that there will not be any more throwing of the ball in the house, said ball comes flying by me as I check my e-mail and slams into my full glass of wine. The wine glass then ricochets into the computer monitor, breaks and spills all over the desk. Awesome.

Did I not just say to stop throwing the ball?

Earlier while I am cleaning up dinner I ask Caspian to run out to the 'burb' and see if the pictures from the visit to Santa are out there. Also could he please grab the flushable wipes in the console. I said this three times. Finally he gets his ass out the door and grabs the pictures, but doesn't get the wipes. Awesome.

Did I not ask for the wipes three times?

Muirne is finished coloring at the table with her new glitter markers that are not washable. She knows that they need to be picked up so Bardolf will not play with them. I remind her to pick them up, then put on her jammies. Again, pick them up and put on your jammies. hello? Is this mic on? Bardolf grabs one and makes a mess of my tablecloth. Murine doesn't have jammies on. Awesome.

Did I not say to pick up the markers and put on jammies?

Bardof drags out his bin of cars. After doing a thorough job of coating the entire livingroom room with his little motor vehicles, he moves on to another more pressing matter of ignoring me. I start to pick up and remind him to help. I step on a car while asking again for help picking up his cars and mutter something to the effect of damn little shits. Bardolf repeats it. Awesome.

Did I not ask him to pick up the cars?

I'm not sure if I am only thinking these things or actually speaking them outloud anymore. Seems to me that I am obviously only thinking them, because my devoted, observant, caring and loving husband would hear me and help me out. Because my perfect, obedient, sweet and respectful children would do as they were asked. Awesome!

Did I not just get ignored? That must be in my head, 'cause that would not be Awesome.